She kept sleeping as the day dawned; she forgot all about her journey.
ਤੈ ਸਹ ਨਾਲਹੁ ਮੁਤੀਅਸੁ ਦੁਖਾ ਕੂੰ ਧਰੀਆਸੁ ਜੀਉ ॥
tai sah naalahu mutee-as dukhaa kooNDharee-aas jee-o.
She separated herself from her Husband Lord, and now she suffers in pain.
ਤੁਧੁ ਗੁਣ ਮੈ ਸਭਿ ਅਵਗਣਾ ਇਕ ਨਾਨਕ ਕੀ ਅਰਦਾਸਿ ਜੀਉ ॥
tuDh gun mai sabh avganaa ik naanak kee ardaas jee-o.
Virtue is in You, O Lord; I am totally without virtue. This is Nanak's only prayer:
ਸਭਿ ਰਾਤੀ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਮੈ ਡੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਕਾਈ ਰਾਤਿ ਜੀਉ ॥੧॥
sabh raatee sohaaganee mai dohaagan kaa-ee raat jee-o. ||1||
You give all Your nights to the virtuous soul-brides. I know I am unworthy, but isn't there a night for me as well? ||1||
Translation by Dr. Sant Singh Khalsa
In plain words
There is only One. And the One is found by the True Guru's grace — a gift that is always here, waiting for an open heart.
When I look at myself honestly, I see plenty of places where I trip up and fall short — more than I could even count. So a shy question rises in me: with all that, how do I come close to the One I love?
Other hearts seem so much further along, so much brighter — who would even notice a small one like me? I got dazzled by shiny things, by pretty walls and comfortable stuff, and let my attention drift away from what matters most. The morning came while I was still half-asleep, and I lost my way.
But naming all of this is not the same as hating myself. It is the honest first step. Every good thing belongs to You, and this is my only prayer: You give so many bright nights to hearts full of virtue — isn't there a night for me too? And the quiet answer is yes. Even the one full of faults is heard.
Naming where I fall short is not hating myself — it is the honest first step toward being close.
The deeper layer
This is the Kuchajee, the song of the one who owns her faults out loud. Kuchajee means unpolished, awkward, not yet graceful. The speaker lists everything she got wrong — chasing gold and jewels (su-inaa, rupaa, mot-ee), decorating brick-and-mud palaces (mandar mitee), sleeping through the dawn of her own life. But notice how it ends: tudh gun mai sabh avganaa — virtue is Yours, the shortfalls are honestly mine — followed not by despair but by a request. Sohaaganee are the hearts that feel united with the Beloved; the speaker calls herself dohaaganee, the one who feels apart, and still asks for a single night. Owning where you fall short is not self-punishment. It is the door that lets grace walk in.
A Question to Sit With
Is there something you find hard to admit — and could admitting it honestly actually be the first step to changing it?
